Joke of the Day
Subject: Women Jokes
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet
coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business
Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk
carton.
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WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after
folding items the woman
wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her
wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television
set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I
asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused
to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I
could do to him legally."
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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take
boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair
out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
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MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing
with
communication, Tom and his wife Grace
listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives
know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed
the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and
whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"
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Cigarettes and Tampons
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up &
down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks if she
can help him. He answers that he is looking for a
box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag
of cotton balls and a ball of string on the
counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you
were looking for some tampons for your ! wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this,
yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a
carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin
of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's
sooo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I
have to roll my own - so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk
carton!)
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for
several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument
and
neither of them wanted to concede their
position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives
of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
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WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about
how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's
15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and
asked, "What?"
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CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't
know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all
at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to
explain. God made me beautiful so you would be
attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be
attracted to you!
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WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument
about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you
get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long
to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in
charge of cooking around here and you should do it,
because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and
besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do
the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show
me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
Testament and showed him at the top of several
pages, that it indeed says . "HEBREWS"
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The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems
at home and were giving each other the silent
treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next
day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning b usiness
flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper:
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it
where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to
discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his
flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of
paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM.
Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of
contests.
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God may have created man before woman, but
there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece
.
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SHARE THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH
AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT
AMY
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Thought of the Day
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
-Mark Twain
