Joke of the Day
Over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a Septic Tank Truck:
"Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"
On a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber!"
On a Church's Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts!"
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. (However, if you don't, you will be.")
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."
At a Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
Thought of the Day
I tell you it's no use arguing with a communist. It's no good trying to convert a communist or persuade him.You can only deal with him on the following basis...you can only do it by having superior force on your side on the matter in question --and they must also be convinced that you will use --- you will not hesitate to use -- those forces , if necessary, in the most ruthless manner. You have not only to convince a communist government that you have a superior force -- that they are confronted by superior force--but that you are not restrained by any moral consideration, if the case arose , from using that force with complete material ruthlessness. And that is the greatest chance of peace, the surest road to peace.
SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL- March 25, 1949.
